Comedian Steve Hofstetter was horrified by the woman’s actions
Do you believe in karma ? The belief that the universe somehow takes care of all the lowlifes going about their dirty business?
In this turbulent day and age, it’s not easy.
There’s enough injustice ongoing in the world to cast some doubt over the ‘what goes around, comes around’ theory.
Sometimes, you have to take matters into your own hands and be master of your own fate.
Be like Steve Hofstetter , a comedian who, when he witnessed a woman allow her dog to foul on the floor inside LAX airport and do nothing about it, had the sort of stroke of genius we frequently wish for, but never have.
“While walking to my gate at LAX, I noticed a woman whose dog was in the middle of doing its business,” he began on a Reddit post.
“A woman let her dog s*** on the floor. So I s*** on her plans.”
“The woman was loudly Face-Timing with her back to the dog, so I assumed she didn’t notice. That was likely the thought shared by the gentleman who tried to get her attention.
“‘Excuse me, miss?’ he said, in a polite tone. The woman glared at him. ‘Your dog,’ he sheepishly continued, pointing to the mid-poop pup.”
The talking loudly on the phone is already bad enough in itself, but things got worse.
“The woman rolled her eyes and went back to face time as the man slinked away, seemingly embarrassed.
“‘Some people,’ she bellowed to her FaceTime companion with no hint of irony, ‘are just so damned rude.’
“The woman started walking away, leaving everything right on the airport floor. Another woman tried to stop her.
“‘You’re not going to clean that up?’ she asked, as shocked as the rest of us were.
“‘They have people for that,’ the offender replied, disappearing into the crowd, as much as someone yelling into their phone can disappear into a crowd.
As you’d expect, the crowd were taken aback by the woman’s level of self-involvement. Steve waited for a maintenance person, and warned people away from the mess.
The irony was, as he later pointed out, was that there was a pet relief area “just two gates away from where The Party Pooper let her dog go to town.”
But that was not to be the last time he saw the woman.
“When I got to my gate, she was there, too. Great – we were both going to Tokyo.
“To make it worse, her dog was now barking at everyone who walked by.
“I have nothing against people flying with their dogs, I do it often. But it is a privilege I take seriously. My dog is well-trained and behaves better than most people.
“While her dog barked at the world, the woman had moved from FaceTiming with no headphones to listening to music with no headphones.
“I’d bet her car was somewhere in long-term parking, parked across three spots with paint on the bumper from the child’s bike she hit without leaving a note.
“Everyone else tried to ignore her, sitting as far away from her as they could. I am not everyone else.”
It was then Steve decided to take action.
“I sat down right next to the horrible woman. ‘Are you going to London on business?’ I said.
“I’m going to Tokyo,’ she responded gruffly.
“‘Oh’, I said. ‘Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to gate 53C. This is the flight to London.'”
Steve admitted he wanted her to have a “little moment of panic” as her payback for her being so obnoxious. He could not have predicted what would follow.
“She grabbed her bags and her dog in a huff, and stormed out of the gate without even checking.
“She was so self-involved, she didn’t notice that the monitor at our gate still said Tokyo and almost everyone at the gate was Japanese.”
Some may say Steve had gone too far. However, he makes a valid point, saying:
“Based on her actions, she believed me that the fight had been moved, so she’s also an a******e for not thanking me.
“The flight to Tokyo was at gate 69A, so the 53 gates were on the other side of the next terminal. And I felt guilty knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to explain to her that there was no gate 53C.”
Steve remains unsure if the Party-Pooper ever made it back onto her actual flight. Given that he did not hear her dog yap incessantly, it looks unlikely.
He concluded his tale of karmic retribution with this:
“Her missing her flight was not my original intention, but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off the floor.
“What makes me wonder if I went too far is the knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day. Whoops.
“Maybe she can re-book on another airline. I hear they have people for that.”